Have you ever wondered why some people in our lives are so negative? and why their presence seems to drag you and everyone around them down? In our journey through life, the people we surround ourselves with play a pivotal role in the influence of our thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Ensure those people aren’t toxic.

 It’s essential to be mindful of the company we keep, as negative and unambitious individuals can infiltrate our minds and lead us away from our goals and values.

This article explores the importance of guarding our minds against such influences and the dangers of falling into groupthink.

Here are 6 points to consider while trying to maintain your individuality in group settings.

Choose Your Company Wisely

Surround yourself with individuals who share your ambitions, consciousness, and goals. These don’t have to be identical matches, but whomever you allow into your circle should have these attributes at a similar level to your own.

Remember, you are who you surround yourself with. So, if the people in your circle tend to be dishonest, gossip about each other to each other, and put others down.

Then consider what that says about you, especially if you are aware of it and also participate willingly.

If you knew a friend of yours is a cheater, would you set them up with anyone you cared about? Probably not. You already know they have a pattern of behaviour.

Avoid people who lack direction, purpose, or motivation, as they can drag you down with their negativity.

They can and will drag you down to keep you down. People who lack direction, purpose, or motivation and are insecure about it will convince you so thoroughly of their delusions.

They’ll have you hating on people you don’t even know over things they made up because they lack the aforementioned attributes. They will have you believing that some innocent person is plotting against you. Especially in a work setting this can be very damaging.

Now, some people lack these attributes but they are not insecure about it and are content, so they don’t create chaos and drama in their lives.

Steer Clear of Toxic Influence

Negative individuals often see the glass as half empty, spreading pessimism and eroding your positivity.

Give negativity spreaders as much space as possible. Being in a bad mood is very different from exuding and forcing that mood onto everyone around you.

You could enter a mental battle and counter-comment theirs with positive ones. But even that is giving way too much to a situation where you can just walk away.

If this is someone you care about, you can try to comfort them and steer them back to a productive or positive mindset. But if they don’t cooperate you have to step back and love them from a distance.

Refrain from allowing negative influences to taint your mindset, as they can hinder your personal growth.

This goes for negative commentary as well. People who always put you down and enforce their minimized expectations on you. If you’re constantly told you can’t do it or you’re not enough, after a long enough time you may start to actually believe it and act upon it subconsciously.

This kills your growth; much like the plant in the image above.

Victim Mentality is Toxic

People with a victim mentality tend to blame external factors for their problems.

Victim mentality is not the same thing as being a victim of something. Too many people confuse victims and victim mentality.

It is only victim mentality when you use something that may or may not have happened to you in the past as an excuse to continue willfully disrespect or abuse yourself or others in a situation. It doesn’t matter if the thing that happened to you is true or false.

Using any past event as an excuse for poor behaviour is using your victimhood/victim mentality as a reason to be excused or exempt from your actions.  

Associating with such individuals may lead you to adopt a similar mindset, hindering your ability to take responsibility for your actions.

Thus, hindering your personal growth and development. This tricks you into seeing a problem or obstacle where there is really none.   

Accountability Matters

Individuals who refuse to take accountability for their actions can negatively impact your sense of responsibility as mentioned above.

You may think, no I am friends with Jimbo and I still attend to all my responsibilities. But you are ignoring the responsibility you have to yourself. If Jimbo is telling you information he learned in confidence from another person, then they are 100% capable of doing the same to you.

Notice the patterns and act accordingly.

Maintain a circle of friends who encourage personal accountability, helping you grow and learn from your mistakes. Friends who aren’t afraid to admit when they are wrong or have made a mistake.

Those who refuse to see themselves in the equation will always lack accountability. They lack the self-awareness and honesty to be sufficiently accountable.

Usually, those afflicted with a true victim mentality will have zero sense of accountability, since they justify everything as their perceived abuser‘s fault.  

Toxic Groupthink

Groupthink occurs when individuals prioritize group cohesion over critical thinking and individualism.

So, if you’re in a group with four dishonest people, then you’re the fifth dishonest person. If you’re with four ambitious and motivated people, you’re the fifth motivated person.

This is why choosing your company wisely is so important. There is always the risk of picking up the habits and characteristics of the negative or toxic people in a group setting.

Be aware of situations where you might compromise your values and opinions to fit in with a group. Maintain your individuality.

In these types of groups, there is always a ring leader. The leader will be the person who influences the thought direction of the entire group.

Sometimes groups of individuals can be good like the “Master Mind Group” discussed in “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. But that group refers to individuals who are well-rounded in character but have a specified expertise.

If you are being convinced to dislike someone by a toxic group, you will be shown “evidence”, usually skewed or fabricated. It will present the targeted individual in an unfavorable light and the toxic person in an innocent light.

If someone you just met is trying to get you to hate on someone you barely know, then they are most likely the toxic ring leader of the group. They always need followers who are blindly loyal to them and they always ALWAYS need someone to hate on. It’s usually someone who knows the truth about them, someone who called them out on something they did or someone who they just like to pick on. But the person usually makes the ring leader incredibly insecure.

Beware of groupthink. Also called tribalism and herd mentality.

Preserve Your Values

Your values define who you are, and they should not be compromised for the sake of conformity.

Again, this doesn’t need to be identical, but the core values are important. In the show “King of the Hill” the four characters, Hank, Bill, Dale and Boomhauer are friends who enjoy each others company on a daily basis.

However, the four of them are very different fundamentally. At the end of the day they all agree on one thing, which is cracking open a cold one with the boys.

Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who respect and uphold your values, allowing you to stay true to yourself.

If something makes you uncomfortable, please do not just go along with it to not cause trouble. Speak up and say something. Set a boundary so people around you know what lines there are and if and when it’s okay to cross them.

If they expect you to throw your boundaries to the side for their own appeasement or as an expectation of you, then you need to consider cutting them off.

Anyone who doesn’t respect your values and asks you to discard them is not someone you want around or with access to you at all.

Conclusion

In the journey of life, our minds are vulnerable to the influences of those we choose to associate with. It is important to be selective about our company, avoiding people who lack ambition, spread negativity, and shirk accountability.

By doing so, we protect our minds from infiltration by harmful toxic influences and ensure that we remain true to our goals and values. Moreover, it’s essential to be vigilant against groupthink, safeguarding our individuality and preserving our unique perspectives.

Remember, your mind is a precious sanctuary; don’t let losers or negativity infiltrate it.

If you want to further explore how people behave read my Nature: Part 2 Article about human behaviour!

Works Cited

Greene, R. (2018). The laws of human nature. New York, New York: Viking.